Tiger Woods Returns

Tiger Woods will be wearing his new Buddhist bracelet when he tees off at the Masters this year. He's begun wearing the bracelet for "protection and strength". The Augusta National Golf Club is a veritable fortress which makes it the ideal place for his return to golf. The club accepts only men as members and in 1990 the first Afro-American was granted entry. In his stilted public apology on 19th February, he said that his infidelities were a private matter between himself and his wife. But his mistresses are angry, some believing they were the only other woman in his life. So angry in fact that 90 bodyguards, including ex FBI agents will be armed with photos of past lovers, including pron star Joslyn James who has threatened to picket the tournament with friends using megaphones. Heaven forbid!

Now on top of everything else, his kindergarten teacher has called him a liar. He has related the sad story of his first day at school to different interviewers, including Barbara Walters over the years. He tells how he was traumatized when bullies tied him to a tree and used spray to paint the word 'nigger' over his body. But his former kindergarten teacher, Maureen Decker, now 69, says it never happened and that he made the whole thing up. He also mentioned the same incident in a book by his basketball buddy Charles Barkley.

I became aware of my racial identity on my first day of school" he says in the book. "A group of sixth-graders tied me to a tree, spray-painted the 'n' word on me and threw rocks at me. And the teacher really didn't do much of anything. I used to live across the street from the school. The teacher said 'OK just go home'. So I had to outrun all these kids going home. It was certainly an eye-opening experience".

But Ms Decker, a teacher for more than 30 years, vehemently denies it ever happened and said the Cerritos Elementary School in Cypress, California was racially diverse, with Asian, Hispanic and black students. "Some of those students were as dark as Tiger. No one mentioned his race or colour", she said.

Ms Decker took extreme offence to Woods' claim which she says has had an adverse affect on her health and she's been trying to get in contact with Tiger or his managers for years but they never return her calls. She says she doesn't want money, just an apology. Her lawyer, Gloria Allred said they have no plans to sue. "We're asking him to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth" she said.

The media circus is about to begin.