When Charlotte Dawson was found dead in her apartment on the weekend, everyone was shocked. Her neighbour Russell Crowe was in tears when he heard the shocking news and so were her many friends and acquaintances.
Russell Crowe and his children
Charlotte was in a very bad place. She had borrowed money from friends, her apartment at Wooloomoloo was to be auctioned the day her body was found, and her future employment was uncertain.
But those who knew her well said the love of her life, Olympic swimmer Scott Miller was at the centre of her despair. She never fully recovered from the breakdown of their marriage, fifteen years ago.
Wedding in 1999
She was happy when she realised she was pregnant, but Scott wasn't. "I could sense some hesitation in Scott" she said. "My due date would clash with the 2000 Olympic Games and this was very concerning. Everything Scott had done was leading up to this moment and nothing could stand in his way so it was decided that we would terminate the child and try again later."
On the day of the termination, Charlotte said she was in "total turmoil." Her husband went with her to the clinic but he "couldn't cope with the atmosphere" and left. When she got home she pretended that everything was alright but she knew that it wasn't. "I felt a shift" she said. "Maybe it was hormonal, but I felt the early tinges of what I can now identify as my first experience with depression."
Although she hadn't seen her ex husband for ten years, she found out that Miller was about to take part in a tell-all interview with 60 Minutes last Sunday night. She knew she shouldn't watch it but couldn't resist, and a close friend said it shook her to the core.
It was a depressing interview. Miller talked about his sordid past and his crystal meth addiction; how he lost the money his father game him to start a business in Kevin Rudd's insulation scheme; how he became a pimp and went into the escort business and his final arrest for dealing drugs. Viewers were left with only one conclusion - this man is a drug addled loser who will spend the rest of his life in and out of rehab.
It may have been a coincidence but Charlotte's death came one week after seeing that interview and her body was found one day after Miller's 39th birthday.
When her marriage ended, she was so distraught, she left Australia to try and forget. "My entire being was broken and that was the beginning of the end for me. The marriage started my depression and I was fired from all my jobs. It was the downslide."
Charlotte's body was found in her apartment at 11.15 am on Saturday. She was 47 years old. Her sisters Vicky and Robin are on their way to Sydney to take her body back to her native New Zealand.
Loving someone too much is risky, better to hold back just enough, so rejection doesn't ruin your life.