Permissive Parenting

British Judge Laura Harris

A British mother has lost custody of her two sons aged 11 and 14 because she was deemed by Judge Laura Harris to be a "permissive parent."

She refused to discipline her sons and allowed them to do whatever they liked which included staying up late every night playing video games.  She wasn't prepared to be the "bad guy" and come down hard on her children when they needed it, she wanted to be their best friend, her ex husband said.

Judge Harris said the mother had 'significantly failed' her children and their behaviour towards adults showed a lack of discipline and structure.

In 2012, the father asked the court to allow the boys to live with him because regular contact with them was constantly refused.
His ex was still angry with him for having an affair before their relationship ended.  

"So preoccupied is she with her own sense of grievance that she completely overlooks the effect of her behaviour on her children.  In my judgment, she has prioritized her own needs and feelings at the expense of her children. That is not to say that she does not love her children, I have no doubt she does, although I find her love to have something of a possessive quality about it.

I consider that she does have a very permissive style of parenting and I accept the father's evidence that she is more like a friend than a parent.

I am satisfied that there is a failure to provide proper guidelines and boundaries essential for the social and emotional development of these pre-adolescent and adolescent boys.  Further, I have real concerns about her as a role model.

I am sad to come to the conclusion that I find on all these fronts, this mother has significantly failed these boys.