If elected, Tony Abbott intends to buy leaky fishing boats from poor Indonesian fishermen and destroy them. He will also set up a "Village Watch" program where Indonesians will be paid for information leading to an arrest or major disruption to the people smuggling trade.
The boat buying scheme sounds a bit bizarre, as the poor fisherman will then have two potential buyers instead of one and will naturally hang out for the highest bidder.
Labor front bencher Bill Shorten agrees. "Wait till the news gets through South-East Asia that if you've got a leaky unsafe boat, the Australian taxpayer will buy it off you" he said. "I don't know who dreamed it up but I'm sure the Liberal Party should be taking that person and putting them in witness protection."
And it gets funnier.
"Mr Abbott's plan to have, it seems, a three star general, sitting at the end of the jetty with a cheque book to buy back fishing boats from Indonesia is about as irresponsible as his plan for a paid parental leave scheme which gives $75,000 to millionaires" he said.